"You shoulda gone to China. You know, 'cause I hear they give away babies like free iPods. You know, they pretty much just put them in those T-shirt guns and shoot them out at sporting events."

Seh, the mother of two adopted Chinese girls, noticed a young Asian girl sitting behind her getting noticeably upset and muttering, "That's so mean and unfair."

Developed a huge movie collection since moving to China? Troubled about how to get them all home? Well, beware: the Motion Picture Association of America has recently deployed two keen-nosed dogs to sniff out pirate DVDs.

My script for a Chinese version of the Humphrey Bogart classic Casablanca.

"Tom Cruise action thriller "Mission: Impossible III" (M:I3) is due to be released on the Chinese mainland on July 20, a state-owned foreign movie distributor said on Friday, the same day it withdrew "The Da Vinci Code" from Chinese cinemas.

The releasing decision came after month-long rumor that the movie could be banned by Chinese censors as the movie compromises the image of Shanghai."